Sunday, April 4, 2010
♥ easter nga naman talaga o..
Nawawala yung charger ko. Nawala yung wallet ko. Marami pa namang nakalagay na mahahalagang bagay dun. Pero ang hindi ko matanggap, nawala yung.. Yung.. "Treasure" ko. Well, I actually have a choice. Pwede ako maging selfish at gawin lang yung mga gusto kong gawin. Or, pwede kong i-surrender lahat kay God, at Sya na ang bahala sa akin. Parati nga sakin tinetext ni Ate Anj 'to:
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the Lord
and He will give you the
desires of your heart.
Ngayon ko lang naintindihan yung application ng kwento ng "Rich Young Ruler" sa buhay ko. It's like I'm thisclose to being with God, but there's this one last(?) thing that I should give up. I have to surrender myself to Him. Everything. All of my being.
Ever since I had the Discipleship Study, something never ceased to bother me. It's denying yourself. For me, it's the hardest thing to do. How could I surrender everything if I cannot deny myself of things that I want?
I am tempted to postpone things that I should do. I feel the urgency. God wants me NOW, but I'm still waiting for someone else. Isn't that unfair? I'm a "lag-ger" because I wanted things to be exactly what I want/hope/plan them to be. I'm blocking God's plans. Pride kills.
I still don't know what to do. I know what is right, but I don't have the guts to follow it. I feel pressured. I want everyone to stop pushing me towards something. I want the easy way out, because I'm a friggin' chikin'.
I know that God wants what's best for me. I know that He will never let anything harm me. I'm just too stupid and scared and idon'tknow.
[Pangatlong beses ko na 'to nilagay sa blog ko:]
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We are afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.
--Guillaume Apollinaire
Delight yourself in the Lord
and He will give you the
desires of your heart.
Ngayon ko lang naintindihan yung application ng kwento ng "Rich Young Ruler" sa buhay ko. It's like I'm thisclose to being with God, but there's this one last(?) thing that I should give up. I have to surrender myself to Him. Everything. All of my being.
Ever since I had the Discipleship Study, something never ceased to bother me. It's denying yourself. For me, it's the hardest thing to do. How could I surrender everything if I cannot deny myself of things that I want?
I am tempted to postpone things that I should do. I feel the urgency. God wants me NOW, but I'm still waiting for someone else. Isn't that unfair? I'm a "lag-ger" because I wanted things to be exactly what I want/hope/plan them to be. I'm blocking God's plans. Pride kills.
I still don't know what to do. I know what is right, but I don't have the guts to follow it. I feel pressured. I want everyone to stop pushing me towards something. I want the easy way out, because I'm a friggin' chikin'.
I know that God wants what's best for me. I know that He will never let anything harm me. I'm just too stupid and scared and idon'tknow.
[Pangatlong beses ko na 'to nilagay sa blog ko:]
"We can't. We are afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.
--Guillaume Apollinaire
11:47 PM
